Lately I feel as if I'm getting too caught up in material and worldly things--this blog probably reflects that. I'm not losing my faith, but I am compartmentalizing it, which I know is very bad. But how to stop? I need things, even if they clutter my life. I think I need some kind of retreat. I'm really having trouble focusing. I don't know if it's bad habits, the devil, or what, but the state of my room epitomizes the state of my mind and spirit: a huge mess. I keep thinking that I need someone to help me fix my life, but then I rebuke myself mentally and think that I ought to be able to effect change in myself, and after all, I'm not a child anymore. That is another conflict within me, the war between the desire for staying a young girl and the desire and necessity for growing up. I can see by a peep in my mind that I could go on and on about my mental turmoil and spiritual disintegration, but I won't. Just pray for me, will you?