As it happened, I did not go to Mass last night but today, at noon. It was rather nice, a small affair but well received. These adjectives should be humorously incongruent, btw, not positively irreverent. After Mass, we went to Jason's Deli, where we ran into--our priests! Yes, the two good fathers had come to eat a sandwich and seemed extremely keen on it, having not eaten breakfast. My mom chatted with the associate pastor, Fr. Ernesto, a little, while I tried to keep a low profile. I don't particularly like meeting people spontaneously in an eating establishment. If I had had a little warning, I might have been able to check my teeth for food, put my retainer in a less conspicuous place, etc. As it was, I tried to be polite and reticent at once. Then of course we went to Target. Why the "of course"? It seems we have been visiting Target quite regularly, to buy shelving. I also found some socks and hosiery in the clearance; without a doubt, Target has the best clearance. We then went to the place of vice, Blockbuster, at which we rented three movies, one for mom, one for the little kids, and one for Roni and me. Because we have three televisions, we watched them all at once. I should also have put "because dad was away at work", as I suspect that was the real reason for our indulgence. After that, I did another workout at home, because mom looked rather too fagged to take us swimming. Nonetheless, I worked out hard, broke a thorough sweat, and succeeded in burning more than a few calories. However, despite my newest mental dieting resolution, which is to serve myself a plate moderately filled with food and to eat only what is on it, I couldn't resist getting extra helpings of the vegetable dumplings my mom cooked for dinner. It was served with plain rice and broccoli, which were also irresistible to me. It was quite enjoyable, overall. After dinner, I succeeded in persuading my mother to turn off the trash TV shows (if she will insist on "veg-ing out") and put on Howard's End, which we own. Then I got a pirouline out of her (it's a sort of cookie). Next, dad came home and we watched him eat and chatted about work things of his. Oh, I've lost my train of thought...

Just as well, it was getting boring. In case you were wondering, the movie we watched was Crossroads. Yes, it really is as gag-me as one could imagine.

This just in! I'm Belle:

Which Disney Princess are you?

Anyway, back to the diet issue. I have tested myself thoroughly online, and discovered, not-so-shockingly, that I am perfectly healthy and need not lose any weight at all; more on this later. Firstly, I did research and came up with important data. Halle Berry is 5'6"-5'7" (the research varied) and weighs 112-113 pounds. I am 5'5 3/4" and weigh 123-125 pounds (not quite sure). This to start with--I had only thought to lose a few, 4 or 5, pounds, not 10. The important thing, in any case, was not to lose weight but to make my stomach identical to hers. Unluckily, I could not find her waist measurement. Sorry, I know this is getting a little out of hand and most likely inciting bulimia in you. Therefore, I will add my last finding, relating to testing. On iVillage, I used the Health Calculator and it told me that my lowest Healthy Weight would be 118. This puts me in a bit of a quandary, as I want to be thinner, but not unhealthily so! Isn't it possible for me to be 113 pounds and yet perfectly healthy? I think it must be. That test was rather simplified. More than that, though, my idea is to gradually decrease the quantity of food that I eat. I will eat all the same foods that I like (and that are healthy), but simply less of them. According to my mom's paraphrasing of Dr. Barry Sears, you should eat such meals that, four hours after the meal you do not feel shaky or weak or anything of that sort. I have never eaten so little that I felt shaky or weak, so it's hard to imagine such a thing. Still, it might come to that. :) This is just a test, you understand. I want to see if I can do it. It's not that I have a wildly distorted self-image and look in the mirror and say, "I'm so ugly and fat!" That would be ludicrous! Furthermore, I like my body and myself pretty well. It's just whimsy, this Halle Berry thing.

Now that I have lulled my audience into disgust for me and my opinions, I can rest easily and go to sleep. Good night!