I had a very odd choir practice tonight. There was a very evident gaping hole in the area of leadership. It was only Mary, Miguel, myself, and a new member, Jose, who will play the keyboard. I could tell Jose, and his wife Christy, who had come to watch, were not completely pleased with the choir situation. As a matter of fact, neither was I. It seemed no one really wanted to take the initiative in terms of actually leading the choir, and I was, I admit, a little too bashful to take that responsibility on my shoulders. Perhpas I should have, seeing as I'm now (*large gulp*) the lead female singer in the choir. This is not an ideal scenario at all! I think that the same humiliation visited upon me last Sunday will come again the Sunday after this one, when we play. I can only hope (and pray, of course) that it all "comes together" but it is not looking good. No, it is not looking good at all. We were stumbling through songs; I was still coughing and getting frogs in my throat the whole time, though I had thought I was perfectly well. Miguel plays too fast in the slower songs and too slow in the fast songs. His hair looked really nice, though. Mary cannot sing in tune. She had formerly only played the guitar, but as I had expressed some concern about being the only woman singing she switched to singing. Now I rather she hadn't, because it only makes my voice (weak though it is) sound worse to have her singing out of tune behind me. Miguel does not sing perfectly in tune either, though he tries. He has a fine, deep, masculine voice, but no precision, and not the classical sound he could have if he worked on it. My own voice is pretty much pathetic. I do what I can with it, but it's always a struggle to hit the high D right, and other stuff...ugh, the responsorial psalm. It is all very provoking. However, I must stop thinking about things that are depressing because I am starting to break out and I want to prevent it. It might go away if I can keep my spirits up.

Therefore, in positive news I am starting to work better in schoolwork. It's still far from where it should be in terms of effort, but I AM trying. This is embarrassing in that in implies (correctly) that I had not been trying before. Well, the fact was I really hadn't. Motivation is not my strong point. But I am NOT going to be working all summer. I have decided that, and I'm going to stick to that resolution. The only thing I need to work into my schedule is exercise--I don't want to be out of shape in the fall. I just wish I was allowed to use the TV, because I did so LOVE my workout videos, and I had bought so many on ebay! *sigh* Well, I'll do what I can. Pax!